Baked Beans and their Delightful Tune
A man had a terrible passion for baked beans,
but they always had a
somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams, he made
the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting his new
wife to his beastly emissions.
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On
his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and
told her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful aroma
of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home,
he figured he could indulge, and then walk off any ill effects. So he had three
extra-large helpings of beans, and he "put-putted" all the way home.
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His
wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed,
"Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner
tonight!"
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She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the head of the
table, making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was beginning to feel
another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the
telephone rang and she went to answer it.
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While she was gone,
he seized the opportunity. He shifted his
weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg.
He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just
started to feel better, when another urge came on. This one sounded like a
diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried flapping his arms, to clear
the air. But another one snuck out, and the windows rattled, the dishes on the
table shook, and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead.
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When
he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his
napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the picture of
innocence when she walked in.
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Apologizing for
taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the
dinner. He assured her he had not, so she removed the blindfold and yelled,
"Surprise!!!"
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To his shock and
horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated
around the table for his surprise birthday party.
